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--- readable:db.xl:exchange.diary.between.pilots [2026/05/30 18:01] – created anadmin
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-==== I ====
+==== Yukong's Exchange Diary ====
+...
+Caiyi, we are going to be partners!
+We've known each other for so long, but when we first knew each other racing starskiffs illegally in the city, we were rivals! Now that we're asked to work together and have each other's back, I'm really not used to it.
+Naturally, I'm not used to having to look after someone who lost against me, but an order's an order, heh.
+I jest. I really look forward to flying with you.
+I don't know when we would receive a combat mission. I don't know what you think about our situation, but I think we both have considerable skills, and having to sit still and not fight enemies in the front lines, it's stifling.
+Those Denizens of Abundance often raid the border and occasionally there are reports of them harming innocent planets. Every time I hear these news stories, I feel an overwhelming sense of anger... but now, things are different. After a while, we'll be able to show them what we're made of on our fighter jets.
+Honestly though, I'm pretty satisfied with my life right now. After all... just between you and me, what I really wanted was never the righteous cause of ridding demonic activities. What attracts me is just the act of flying itself.
+Look, flying out in the universe outside of the delves is entirely different from racing starskiffs that we're so used to... There is nothing to anchor us in space, there's not even a distinction between up and down. Our fighter jets would be hung in space by their lonesome selves like ships sailing in the middle of the ocean. By then, there is no one else you can rely on but your own skills and your jet.
+Some may call this "feeling lonely," but I prefer to call it freedom.
+To me, to fly in space is already good enough. And if I can share this sweet freedom with you, then that's even better.
+...
+Caiyi, I don't know what to say to console you. You're always like this. No matter what terrible things happened to you, you would act strong, as if you don't need anyone to care for you, and you have terrible timing for jokes.
+But we have been together for over a hundred years and I think we understand each other very well. You once said that if something is unpleasant for me, it would also be uncomfortable for you. I actually feel the same way, too.
+Right now, my heart feels like it's being gouged out with a blunt, rusted knife. I can't imagine the amount of hurt and pain you're going through.
+It's funny, I've never shown Guangyuan my good side. Every time you leave me alone to go on a mission with him, I feel uncomfortable. Especially when I see you two flirting and getting along as if you're inseparable, I can't help but want to glare at him with disdain.
+But Guangyuan is a good person. No matter how rude I was to him, he was always kind to me. Thinking back on it now, I realize I'm just really bad at appreciating people.
+Ah... he's really amazing. He managed to hold off several dozen enemy ships with only two people. This isn't something that can be done with just courage and resolve, it also requires exceptional skills and extraordinary talent.
+I can imagine what it was like in his final moments, how his annoyingly handsome face must have shown such determination and focus. I guess that's why you fell in love with him in the first place.
+I can imagine how proud he must've felt in that moment. He must've had no fear or hopelessness, only pride.
+So you shouldn't be sad. You should be proud of him. We all should.
+...
+Caiyi, I've been having a lot of negative emotions recently that I cannot express to other fighters on the front line. Since you're recuperating in the rear, I'll just dump them on you.
+Although it seems I'm a bit slow to say such words now, it was only recently that I realized that I am actually in the midst of such a cruel war.
+Space combat is different from ground combat. Although both involve life and death in an instant, it is rare to see severed limbs and broken bodies in space, which led me to misjudge the brutality of this war. It wasn't until recently, as the situation on the front lines worsened, that the bloody reality gently but indisputably presented itself before me.
+Someone might sit beside you for a meal today and be missing in action tomorrow. A new soldier earning praise and honor today might disappear the next. The captain I fought with today might not be found tomorrow. The ground troops that exchanged encouragement with me today might be eliminated the next.
+At this point, I'm wary of building personal connections with anyone here. Perhaps that person would perish, or I might perish, or we might both perish in the day to come.
+I thought I have experienced enough to feel numb, but bad news kept coming in waves every single day.
+However, I don't regret this at all. Whenever the pain comes, the feeling that becoming a fighter pilot is the best choice I have made in my life will follow.
+If I weren't a fighter pilot, I can only endure this pain in silence. But I am one. I can fly, I can fight, and I can attempt to destroy the source of my pain. Since I am a fighter pilot, I still have things that I can do, realities that I can change.
+PS: Don't use the names Guangyuan came up with, they're terrible! Choosing a name is a big decision the child has to bear with for a lifetime! Use my suggestiions instead, it's something I picked after diligently going through several collections worth of poetry.
+...
+Caiyi, I have a lot to tell you. So many things.
+After your  death, they wanted to honor me with a medal. Truthfully, I find that laughable.
+Based on common logic, no one would award survivors medals to praise their fortuitous survival. But no, not the Sky-Faring Commission. They gave me a medal, called me a hero pilot, and the only reason for it is because of my luck to remain alive in that calamitous battle.
+If you had been as lucky as me, we could've gotten the medals together. After the medal ceremony, we could've gone to Aurum Alley, have a few drinks, and laugh at the absurdity of it all.
+It's a shame, luck is not on your side. We don't have that chance anymore.
+I suddenly feel nostalgic. I remembered all the time we had steering our starskiffs across the Luofu sky. We were so carefree. There were no threats to our lives, and we didn't have to bear the calling of The Hunt. The entirety of the sky within the delve was ours — yours and mine. Above us was the delve's flashing dome ceiling, and below us were the bustling lights of ten thousand homes. Oh, and behind us, the Realm-Keeping Commission officers who just won't stop chasing us.
+That was a time of insouciance, how I wish we could stay in that time forever.
+...
 ----
-==== II ====
+==== Caiyi's Exchange Diary ====
+...
+Yukong, I'm happy to have a chance to fight side-by-side with you.
+When the pair assignment was sent out, I was so nervous that I didn't dare to open and check it, fearing that we wouldn't be paired up. It's not like I can't bear to part with you, but I was worried to leave you with the others with your fiery temperament.
+When you actually get to the battlefield, don't act recklessly like you do now, always charging in with hotheadedness. Before taking action, think more about the consequences. But it's okay, I don't want to talk about this anymore, or you'll accuse me of nagging like an old crone again. In any case, we need to work together, using our individual strengths to create our own legends in the vast sky.
+I look forward to fighting in the vast skies with you, so much so that I'm finding it hard to fall asleep.
+...
+Yukong, don't cry. There is no need to be sad.
+My husband was the one who died, but you're crying more than I am. After so many years of fighting, you're still so emotional. I'm envious.
+Being a fighter pilot has always been a harrowing decision. Since we chose this path, we have to be mentally prepared. What's important is not whether we can survive by luck, but whether we can live up to the value of a pilot's life.
+Guangyuan and his partner managed to keep an entire borisin fleet at bay. They were heroes. To me, that is enough.
+I've heard it said that the greatest happiness in life is being able to choose how you die. From this perspective, to fight for the Xianzhou Alliance... no, for the people of the entire cosmos, to die on the battlefield after a lifetime of military service, Guangyuan is probably happy.
+Of course, you better not have this kind of happiness, just live another two hundred years, behave, and then die of old age for me.
+...
+Yukong, it's been a long time. I'm still on my maternity leave in the rear. Everything is fine.
+With the stalemate happening right now, you must be very busy. But when you have the chance, please take a moment to write an exchange diary entry for me, so that I can know you are still safe... and also, I have a mountain of things I want to talk to you about.
+Firstly, an announcement. I've already decided on a name for our child.
+Guangyuan has talked about this before. If it's a boy, name him Dragon, and if it's a girl, name her Phoenix. But this man's literary sense is as good as the monkeys in the Ever-Hunt Plains. No matter how much we should prioritize the wishes of my late husband, I cannot let his wants ruin my child's life.
+So after much pondering, I've decided to go with your suggestion and name her Qingni — the colors of dawn.
+"The moonlit camp opens to a garden of archery, frosty banners brush the colors of dawn." How rare, you made the time and effort to look through poems and allegories. I thought you only cared about fighter jets.
+Don't miss me too much. After taking a few months of break and settling Qingni down, I will be back in action ASAP. Qingni is still so young, and I need to leave her to fight a war... How should I say this, I'm such an irresponsible mother.
+I am well aware. The situation on the front line doesn't look so good. The borisin keep breaking our ranks. All the media outlets are trying to control the spread of panic and fear, but the Luofu is shrouded with a veil of uneasiness.
+However, I believe the Xianzhou Alliance will win. I believe that warriors like you and me will repel those Denizens of Abundance to whence they come.
+I look forward to fighting beside you once more.
+...
+Yukong, we will be heading toward a cruel battlefield tomorrow.
+SO tonight, there are some things I must entrust to you. (This may be somewhat ominous, but there's not help for it. Who made it so that we've never entrusted these things to each other before?)
+If you lived and I didn't, please take care of Qingni like you would your own daughter. I know you will. I will entrust you with all my savings, please us that as living expenses for Qingni.
+No matter what kind of person Qingni wants to become, please support her fully. Merchant, poet, street performer, anything except a fighter pilot.
+Please allow me to make a vow with you: Do not let Qingni become a fighter pilot.
+When we enlisted, you wrote in this diary: "Our fighter jets would be hung in space by their lonesome selves like ships sailing in the middle of the ocean." "... Some may call this 'feeling lonely', but I prefer to call it freedom."
+I really loved this segment, because I thought the same.
+But that's enough. Loneliness or freedom, we've already tasted it all. Promise me, don't let that child touch the sky.
+...